Couples give so much importance to love, many fail to realize that love is an emotion, and emotions by their very definition keep changing from time to time. One can never be “in love” 24/7 with one’s spouse. But while love may increase and decrease with circumstances and interaction, communication takes the marriage along. In fact, marriage can be said to rest on four pillars in the following sequence:

  1. Communication
  2. Respect
  3. Trust
  4. Commitment

Each factor leads to the next. Communication, unlike what most people think, is not just mundane conversation about neutral topics. True communication between husband and wife is sharing of emotions. A marriage wherein sharing of feelings has stopped, is as good as dead, or at least in a coma. Quarrels, disagreements and anger are all part of communication. 

Marriage is a unique Created by the GOD as a GIFT and close relationship that differs from all other relationships on two counts. Most marriages start with unrealistic expectations of the “ideal” spouse. If theses are not toned down, the pendulum can swing the other way and one or both the spouses stop having any expectation, and the relationship is as good as over. Ask yourself whether you had allowed yourself to have unrealistic expectations to start with.

If a couple wish to evaluate the strength of their marriage, they should check out on the four pillars mentioned above viz. how good is their emotional communication, how much do they respect each others’ views, space and attitudes, how much trust they have in each other, and finally are they committed to a lifelong relationship?

Ephesians 5:21-33 

Submitting to another person is an often-misunderstood concept. When we submit to God, we become more willing to obey his command to submit to others—that is, to subordinate our rights to theirs. In a marriage, both husband and wife should mutually submit to each other.

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

[22] For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

[23] For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.

[24] As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

[25] For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her [26] to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.

[27] He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.

[28] In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.

For the wife, this means willingly following her husband’s leadership in Christ. For the husband, it means putting aside his own interests in order to care for and serve his wife. Submission is rarely a problem in homes where both spouses have strong relationships with Christ and where each works for the well-being and happiness of the other.

[29] No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.

[30] And we are members of his body.

[31] As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”

[32] This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

[33] So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

This kind of mutual submission preserves order and harmony in families while it increases love and respect among family members. A wife can easily submit to her husband when she believes that he serves her, cares for her, and holds her needs above his own. When someone feels secure in a loving relationship, submitting is usually not a problem. Many words to telling husbands to love their wives as to telling wives to submit to their husbands. How should a man love his wife? He should be willing to

(1) sacrifice everything for her,

(2) make her well-being of primary importance, and

(3) care for her as he cares for his own body. No wife needs to fear or resist submitting to a man who treats her in this way.

The union of husband and wife merges two persons in such a way that there isn’t much that can affect one without also affecting the other. Oneness in marriage does not mean losing your personality in the personality of the other. Instead, it means caring for your spouse as you care for yourself, learning to anticipate his or her needs, and helping the other person become all he or she can be.

Colossians 3:18-19

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.

[19] Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.


Genesis 1:26-28 Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us.

Why does God use the plural form—“Let us make human beings in our image” (emphasis added)? One view is that this is a reference to the Trinity—God the Father, Jesus Christ his Son, and the Holy Spirit, all of whom are God.

More likely, “the image of God” describes our entire self, not just one part of us. We will never be totally like God because he is our supreme creator. But we do have the ability to reflect his character in our love, patience, forgiveness, kindness, and faithfulness.

[27] So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. [28] Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.

When God delegated some of his authority to the human race, he expected us to take responsibility for the environment and the other creatures that share our planet. We must not be careless and wasteful as we fulfill this charge. God was careful and creative when he made this earth. We must also be careful and creative in our stewardship of it.

Genesis 2:7,17-18,21-23

Then the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.

“From the dust of the ground” implies that there is nothing fancy about the chemical elements making up our bodies. The body is a lifeless shell until God brings it alive with his “breath of life.” When God removes his life-giving breath, our bodies once again return to dust.

[17] except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”

[18] Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

[21] So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening.

[22] Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

[23] “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.'”

God’s creative work was not complete until he made woman. He could have made her from the dust of the ground, as he had made man. God chose, however, to make her from the man’s flesh and bone. In so doing, he illustrated for us that in marriage man and woman symbolically become one flesh. This is a mystical union of the couple’s hearts and lives. Throughout the Bible, God treats this special partnership seriously. If you are married or planning to be married, are you willing to keep the commitment that makes the two of you one? The goal in marriage should be more than friendship; it should be oneness.

God forms and equips men and women for various tasks, but all these tasks lead to the same goal—honoring God. Man gives life to woman; woman gives life to the world. Each role carries exclusive privileges; there is no room for thinking that one gender is superior to the other.

God gave marriage as a gift to Adam and Eve. They were created perfect for each other. Marriage was not just for convenience, nor was it brought about by any culture. It was instituted by God and has three basic aspects:

(1) The man leaves his parents and, in a public act, promises himself to his wife;

(2) the man and woman are joined together by taking responsibility for each other’s welfare and by loving each other above all others; and

(3) the two are united into one in the intimacy and commitment of sexual union, which is reserved for marriage. Strong marriages include all three of these aspects.

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